SO EXCITED FOR…Oh. Not watching that anymore.

YOU KNOW WHAT JENKINS…YOU CAN SUCK ON MY LEFTY.         

I don’t think I have EVER got this angry at my television. I am sat there screaming all kinds of shit at Katherine Jenkins. She has such a grudge against Vanessa. Blates because Vanessa is prettier than her and is quite clearly a better singer than her. When she was giving her ‘comments’ (although to be honest…who gives a flying…) I was praying for a trap door to open and a bear to come out and eat her. I hate her. I know hate is a strong word, that is why I am using it. She may be a good opera singer, but WHAT THE FRICK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT A JOB? This is the first paid piece of work you have done in a while, and to be honest, I still hate you. Before this, I only knew you because you were in heat! magazine a lot, in the Who Wore It Best? section. I used to vote for you, because you did look really nice. But now, I wont. Even if the other person looks like a trollop. No, no, even if the other person is a troll I will vote for them. They may look shittier in the clothes, but at least they will be more attractive. When you sang this evening, I could feel my eyes watering. Not because you were good, but because you looked like a bloody banana. I began by calling you a yellow carrot, as I couldn’t think of any yellow food but a lemon. And as fat and round you looked, it wasn’t the right word. I turned to my mum and said that I hope a lion (specifically Aslan, so the audience could clap a ‘celeb’) would creep up behind her and rip the shit out of her. I want to watch her, watching herself being eaten. It would have made the show. My facebook status stated how I hope she split a lung. AND WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED AT THE END? Did she crouch to poo? Or did she have to crouch to breath, so no one would see the massive belly she is hiding.     

 

There will be more slating later, but I will comment on the acts. Before I feel the urge to call ITV to scream down the phone at Barbie.      

1. Darius – AAAAND Go home. Get interesting or go home. Simple as.   

2. Kym Marsh – She was fantastic this evening! She sang beautifully and looked fantastic. Although I wasn’t sure on the gaffer tape dress :s I would like her to win out of the girls.      

 3. Danny Jones – He was very good, and he is the boy that I want to win I think I preferred his performance last week, but well done for this week. Blew me away!      

 

4. Marcella Detroit – She was brilliant. I don’t really know who she is, but she was pretty good Although I do get very annoyed at how much her lip quivers when she sings. You aint no Mariah. Jeez.        

 

5. Vanessa White – WTF? She did so well! I will evaluate deeper after reviews, but she should not have gone home.        

 

6. Bernie Nolan – She did very well didn’t she? She makes me laugh in the VTs where the show the preparing week as well Well done Bernie!        

 

 7. Jimmy Osmond – Well. One word. Die.        

 

All I can say is, this was the most disappointing night of my life. I thought that Vanessa did so much better than last week and she looked fantastic. Katherine hates her, as does Ronaldo but they can go and breed with each other. I don’t think people appreciate that Vanessa has a full time job. Most of those other celebs don’t even have a job, except from Kym and Danny, and they have taken time off. She has a great dedication to The Sats, which means that she has to work and go and earn money. Katherine is jealous because she is more succesful than her and Ronaldo just looks like an Oompa Loompa. When he complained about her not being committed, I could have screamed at him. No wait…I did.      

 I dislike Ronaldo, because he was such a bitch to Vanessa. I hate Katherine more, but I don’t like Ronaldo. I just read back at my comment on those two breeding, and I felt prompted to draw a picture of what their child look like. Now, don’t feel jealous of my immense artistic skills. He is called Lucifer. He has Ronaldo’s hair and eyebrows, and Katherine’s green eyes of envy, yellow fangs, skin tone, horns and Hitler moustache. I think it is a perfect likeness.       

 

To be honest. I am not going to watch it anymore. I am so disappointed that Vanessa has gone, and I hate Katherine Jenkins. I am throwing a brick at her face in my mind. I hope it hurts. Jealous bimbo. Until next time lovers…Daniel xxx